A Cacophony of Epiphanies...

For whatever reason I have been following the MLB postseason playoffs with the same acute attention an acne ridden teenager gives his face the day before prom, and the conversation that took place this evening between my friend Adam and myself only heightened my awareness of baseball and the infinite possibilities the game possesses.

While watching the Indians trying desperately to hold off those damn Yanks, Adam and I came up with one of the greatest ideas I have ever been a part of, including those ideas that never came to fruition. By God I hope this one does. I realize this has been done before, and there have been a couple people that have accomplished this within the confines of a singular summer, but it is still an exciting idea. We are going to hit every single ballpark. All of them. We will even travel to Dolphin Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florida to see the Marlins play (which will officially make us the attendees that have traveled the furthest to see a Marlins game.... ever.) We have decided that next year we are heading to New York to see both a Yankees game and a Mets game. Once those are done we are heading to Boston to see a Red Sox game, and then finishing our tour in Chicago to see a White Sox game and a Cubs game. 5 stadiums, one trip. Throw in a Skydome (I will never call it the Rogers Centre) game at some point next summer and that is 6 stadiums in one summer. Beauty.

There are rules which need to be discussed should anyone want to be included in this (its open to everyone... bee tee dubs), and they are as follows:

1. An official home jersey of the team whose stadium you are attending must be purchased at each stadium prior to the game. No exceptions.

2. Those who want to be included in this expedition must attend every game we do, or else you buy the beer at the next game you are at.

3. Stadiums that are scheduled to be demolished have priority on the list.

4. Each time a team builds a new stadium, that new stadium must be visited. Having been at U.S. Cellular Field does not automatically exempt you from any future Chicago White Sox stadiums.

5. A picture must be taken of you outside the stadium with the name of the stadium in full view.

6. Ticket stubs MUST be saved.

7. At least one game out of all the games you attend must be a postseason game.

8. Colin will shit himself as soon as he walks into Citizens Bank Park, home of his beloved Philadelphia Phillies.

9. Bonus points for being invited into the dugout or getting autographs during the course of BP or the game.

10. Point system will be determined at a later time.

11. If another Canadian team enters the foray, they must be given priority.

12. Jason Blake has been diagnosed with leukemia. This isn't really a rule in any shape or form, but it just needs to be said. My first thought on this was "The Leafs have no luck whatsover." Then I felt bad for Jason Blake.

13. We are considering implementing an RV into the equation.

14. Adam will be buying a fitted hat for himself at each stadium. Those who follow suit will probably be awarded bonus points from Adam.

15. Adam and Colin are the sole giver outers of bonus points.

16. The jersey that you purchase before each game must be worn at said game, and the wearer must cheer on the home team. (EXCEPTION TO THIS RULE: Colin will cheer for Philadelphia regardless of ballpark attended.)

17. If there is a Hall of Fame of any sorts in a city, it must be included in the trip.

18. MLB games last 9 innings. You will stay for the full 9 innings.

19. According to Bruce, we "need rules to enforce the negative." (I'm sitting here with him and I have no clue what he's talking about. We are possibly drunk.)

20. If you catch a foul ball at a stadium, you win that day.

21. An official scorecard must be signed be each attendee that game.

22. The home jersey purchased must be worn regardless of inclement weather.

23. Once the stadium tour has been completed, bottles of champagne shall be sprayed by everyone who was a part of the fantasticness.

So these are the rules as of now. Stay tuned for updates (seeing as how I update this site regularly.... does sarcasm get across on this thing?). Yeah, so, updates on points and rules and a schedule of events are going to follow. At some point. Not sure when, but it'll happen.

Baximan

Gregory Marshall North (Greggie)

After almost 27 years of being taught how to walk, talk, and perform daily tasks most of us find rudimentary, the last lesson to be taught was his to teach. It outweighed any lesson he may have been taught in his life, because his lesson to us, was a lesson on how to truly live.

In the six short years I knew him, I feel I formed an accurate picture of who he was, and I believe one word sums it up. Genuine. Many people strive to achieve to be genuine, many people claim to be genuine, but very few are. To me it is the most important trait any human being can have. To be completely, altogether, and perfectly, genuine. There was nothing about his character that was false. Nothing about his soul that was untrue.

One might wonder where he could have possibly learned this precious trait, seeing as though he had a tough time with other simple tasks. Well that’s easy. One needs only to look at his family and friends. His mother, whose strength, compassion, diligence, and unwavering love for him outweighed any negative emotion or feeling this world has to offer. His father and step-mother, whose love introduced him to a whole new family, but more importantly, introduced a whole new family to him. His brother, who could bring a smile to his face no matter how dire the situation, or how strong the fight was against his body. His sister, my wife, whose powerful love made him do the impossible. Greg saying the word "sista" after years of having no voice of his own was a gift only Emily could give. Although I have only met Tony a handful of times, I can guarantee you he is one of the strongest people I have ever met, and for him and Greg to have found each other makes me believe that we may not be led to where we're going in life, but there is something out there that wants us to get where we're going as easily as possible. The entire North family and their complete and utter devotion to his happiness is a living testament to the strength this family has. The staff at the Corsair Group Home is nothing short of paramount. Each and every one of us whether we realize it or not, has a foundation of support that allows us to grow into the person we can be. The Corsair Group Home and its staff were that foundation for Greggie; nothing short of the best in the world. To know his family and support group is to know that Greg was surrounded by and assisted by the perfect people for him.

Greggie was one of the most inspirational people this world has ever seen. No television program, magazine, newspaper, or internet site will tell you that, and absolutely none of that matters. He was our gift, our teacher. Only being in his presence could you feel the warmth he had to offer. Everyone who met him instantly fell in love with him, and we were all lucky to have experienced that. I'm sure everyone who reads this has their own personal "Greg" story. That tells us something doesn't it? Everyone in his life was affected by this one person. I can only imagine the power he must have had to be able to influence this many people, and I can only dream of having that much positive influence on the world. Without trying, Greggie had that confidence, strength of character, and positive power on people. His sense of humour was also captivating. You could walk into the same room as Greggie and within seconds you would be laughing at how real he was being and how real he made you want to be. I've always said the best meal you can eat is with nothing but your hands. If that description holds true, then EVERY meal became Greg's favourite meal! Mashed potatoes, cheesecake, chocolate Easter eggs, whatever he could get his hands on became the "food of the moment". His willingness to take nothing in life, not even the simple pleasures, for granted, should serve as grounds for everyone to base their life upon.

Like many who knew him, I have shed tears over the passing of Greggie. The emotions I have felt have not been expressed in one extended crying session, but at random times over the past couple days. While making breakfast Monday morning, or showering, while listening to a song, or just talking to my mom on the phone, I have had bursts of emotion. Never more than a minute long, but each was intense. Each time I cried the emotions I had inside me poured out in the form of tears, and some frustration. But with each period of tears came the inspiration to write a few words about the Greg North that I knew. The best tears I cried became these words, and I hope that, to his family and close friends, they are enough to capture even just a tiny bit of the person he truly was, the family he truly loved, and his lessons which will stick with us until our last day. I consider myself sincerely lucky to have been one of the people in Greg's life to have been able to say "Hi Greggie" and gotten a reaction from him. Whether it was a smile, a touch, or a fart in my general direction! To have known him, to know and love his family, and to whole heartedly love his sister makes me unequivocally happy. And to feel THAT is my first step to being more like Greg, which is what I genuinely aspire to be.

Trading Darts For Baseballs

Chris Kaiser Attempts to Turn it Around. But Can it Last?





By Roscoe Stonewall

HALIBURTON (Haliburton Daily Press Release)
Its 1589 miles, or so, from Cheyenne, Wyoming, to Haliburton, Ontario, and no one feels the distance more than the Hook Line N' Sinkers starting pitcher Chris Kaiser.

Kaiser was a highly touted prospect out of Calgary, a high school kid with a major league arm who grew up too fast in front of millions of fans. Every 5 days he would find himself facing hitters who could grow a mustache in less than a week, yet all he could manage was a cracking voice and a few curlys down below. His career fell by the wayside as his personal life made its way onto the headlines more and more, cultivating in a televised police chase in which Kaiser, driven by a friend in a '76 Pinto, made a run for the border after being accused of a crime he adamantly denies to this day. The sad horror of the story is that he was fleeing to the border between Alberta and Saskatchewan, and before police nabbed him when he stopped across the border he made sure to flip the coppers the bird. Kaiser noted this as the turning point of his life.

He also believes this was the turning point of his career. "...considering my off season consisted of smoking darts like it was my job and consuming copious amounts of alcohol I guess there is no where to go but up." GM Colin Wallace seems to feel the same way, and signed Kaiser to a 3 year, multi-million dollar contract with a unique signing bonus. For every strikeout that Kaiser puts up on the board, Wallace has claimed that he will personally donate $1 to the Christopher Kaiser 1980's Metal Hair Band Relief Fund. "The organization is something I'm proud of," states Kaiser, "I'm able to help a lot of people who really and truly deserve the help. You know, men who can wear make up and tights and still pull off 'cool'." Kaiser points out that Motley Crue have greatly benefited from the organization and a new Cinderella album is in the works thanks to the charity.

"In Haliburton I will stick to the strippers as a means of booty calls"

The laid back life style of a Haliburtish native is much more than a stone's throw from that of the fast paced Cheyennenite. As a mature man of 23, Kaiser believes he can adapt to the way of life up here, although it will take some getting used to. "Not gonna lie but at first I was a little skeptical coming to a place like Haliburton to continue my dwindling baseball career." He notes that the organization and the community received him with open arms, but one team member was disappointed at the lack of minorities represented on the team. "Kris Vargas... was upset at the lack of minorities ... and he told me flat out it was great to have me on the team but he would like me more if I was from Japan or the Phillipenes." When asked about this comment, GM Colin Wallace was taken aback. "I can't believe one of our own players would say this. Its outrageous. Racism is not a part of the Haliburton code of conduct." Vargas was subsequently taken out back, flogged, and then stoned. Wallace assures, however, that Vargas will be ready for opening day.

One group not looking forward to Kaiser's appearances on the mound is the local Haliburton chicken community. Known for sacrificing a live chicken before each game he is scheduled to pitch, Kaiser is wary of how his superstition will go over in his new PETA-favoured neighbourhood. "That is one superstition that will never die", vows Kaiser.

There have been those who questioned Wallace's decision to sign Kaiser to such a lucrative contract. 5 teams in 3 years is a feat that few can lay claim to, but Kaiser is certain that this is a team he can actually finish his contract with, and possibly earn an extension. "My last 3 years are something I would rather not talk about, and I might add 3 of those trades were not due to my playing abilities but I had slept with some owners wives and from then on it was all down hill on those teams." Seeing as how most MLB team owners are in their sixties, along with their wives, it solidified the fact that Kaiser had hit rock bottom. "In Haliburton, I will stick to the strippers as a means of booty calls", says Kaiser, who will be happy to know that the Haliburton stripper community is being recognized as the "Next Las Vegas", although this reporter has never visited any of the clubs and is unaware that The Pink Canoe Gentleman's Club and Shrimp Emporium has the best porterhouse this side of the Mississippi.

The upcoming season is one of hopes and dreams for pitcher Chris Kaiser, and also his fans. In order to be successful he needs to "... lay off the Du Maurier's and stay out of flavour country." GM Colin Wallace believes he can do so, which has seemed to spark a fire in Kaiser, as he believes he is "... highly committed to the success of this team..." and he is "... looking forward to his upcoming 3 seasons in Haliburton." Forever a fan of glam rock and a cocky bastard, Kaiser would like to send out a warning to those daring to try and win at Haliburton Stadium this year. "Do you know where the f--- you are??? You're in the jungle baby!!! Wake up... time to ddddiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee!"

Roscoe is a Christian and opposed to drinking during the week, even though he was offered a drink several times and suspects his virgin vodka and sprite, which started off smooth, got awful tangy by the last sip during his interview with Christopher Kaiser, and so he suspects Mr. Kaiser spiked his drink. Roscoe also admits that he has never had so much fun playing Guitar Hero, and even made it to Intermediate Level by the end of the evening.

Hook Line N' Sinkers Impressive in Spring Training

But There Is Always Room For Improvement...





By Roscoe Stonewall

HALIBURTON (Haliburton Daily Press Release)
Another winter has passed, and with it so has the weight room sessions, the cardio sessions, time spent with family, and all other ingredients that go into a typical off-season. It is now time, as they say, to play ball. This season, the lights are shining bright on two teams who will make history on opening day by being the first two teams in MLB to be situated in non-metropolitan areas. The Baton Rouge Crustaceans, and the Haliburton Hook Line N' Sinkers.

Haliburton General Manager Colin Wallace is optimistic about the upcoming season, but, he says, his hopes are not too high. "We have a good team here in Haliburton. The area is known for its friendly atmosphere and lazy way of life, and thats how we play ball. Friendly, and lazy." After a heavy off-season which saw many trades, moves, and shuffling around, Wallace believes he has a team that will do well. "Its a great group here. There are a few alcohol issues we have to deal with, and some of our players have already had counseling, but other than that we seem to be on the right track."

"Thats our aim this year, to find that balance. Sauce and ball."

Famed psychologist Holly Imrie, known for her work with alcoholics and people afraid of extension cords, has become an official member of the Haliburton squad. She has already established herself as a powerful voice in the organization, having personally gone into Anne Cowans' locker and dumping the contents of every bottle she found. The minor victory was short lived, as later that night, the police were called to the residence of Anne Cowans on a noise complaint after her keg party got out of hand. Cowans was found in her front yard on a mechanical bull screaming "I ONLY NEED 8 SECONDS FOR THE GOLD MEDAL!" The bull was motionless. Irregardless of this, Imrie is confident her techniques will result in increased numbers from the Hook Line N' Sinkers. Wallace was the first to note that his team is the only one in the league that employs a psychologist who specializes in alcoholics, but Wallace is also first to note that more teams could use this. "Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, Jack Morris, all players who struck a balance between sauce and ball. Thats our aim this year, to find that balance. Sauce and ball."

Everyone in the Hook Line N' Sinkers organization is excited about the upcoming season as well as the fans. A new team, a new stadium which seats 1,304, and 162 games of possibilities. Its a good time to be Haliburtish.


Roscoe Stonewall is a part time columnist for The End Of The Dock and a full time 5-pin bowler. He enjoys short walks on the beach and macramé. Roscoe has written for such publications as Punjab Daily, The Official Light Bulb Lovers Magazine, and Ferns for Happiness. We are greatly indebted to him for agreeing to follow the inaugural season of the Haliburton Hook Line N' Sinkers.

End of the Dock Hires New Reporter

And not a moment too soon...

HALIBURTON (Haliburton Daily Press Release) - The Haliburton Daily has hired a new reporter to follow the upcoming Haliburton Hook Line N' Sinkers during their inaugural season. Roscoe Stonewall joins the Haliburton Daily team and the staff at the Daily as well as those at the End of the Dock would like to take this opportunity to welcome Mr. Stonewall and wish him good luck on this upcoming season.

Haliburton Hook Line N' Sinkers Reserve Roster and Coaching Staff

OFFICIAL COACHING STAFF

Jersey No.	Name	Position
3	Kieran Wallace	Head Coach
17	Erin Kulic	Pitching Coach
69	Jenn Luckas	Bullpen Coach
21	Michelle O’Keefe	Batting Coach
29	Sindy DeBenedictis	Bench Coach
86	Brent Finley	First Base Coach
31	Marisa Reis	Third Base Coach

OFFICIAL RESERVE ROSTER

Jersey No.	Name	Position
4	Jay Leung	IF
33	Lacey Scott	IF
90	Will North	IF
30	Chris Wevers	OF
70	John O’Kelly	OF
35	Brad North	OF

Haliburton Hook Line N' Sinkers Announce Starting Lineup and Pitching Roster

OFFICIAL STARTING LINE UP

Order No.	Jersey No.	Name	Position
1	9	Andrew Cooper	2B
2	20	Adam Smith	SS
3	13	Anne Cowans	CF
4	43	Brian DeWagner	RF
5	24	Arvin Kim	1B
6	11	Carlos Abrantes	LF
7	1	Natalie Wallace	3B
8	16	Courtney Thorne	C
9	34	Aiden Kennedy	SP

OFFICIAL PITCHING ROSTER

Jersey No.	Name	Position
34	Aiden Kennedy	SP
8	Sue McKay	SP
21	Sarah Quigley	SP
00	Adam Finley	SP
19	Chris Kaiser	SP
76	Jim Wardle	P
14	Chantelle Tremblay	P
7	Kris (Gramps) Vargas	P
12	Kevin Phillips	P
25	Emily Wallace	P (Closer)

Player profiles will be posted as soon as they are officially completed.

Haliburton Hook Line N' Sinkers Unveil New LOGO...

HALIBURTON (Haliburton Daily Press Release) - The Haliburton Hook Line N' Sinkers officially unveiled their team uniforms and their new logo today. The management for the team held an open contest to everyone in the area to design the logo, but they went with one of their own designs in the end. A source close to GM Colin Wallace was quoted as saying "They just didn't like any of them. Basically said they were all crap, so they used the paper for kindling to a big bonfire the other night." The community showed their depreciation to the organization's decision by putting up signs asking residents of the Haliburton region to boycott the press conference, and it seemed to have worked as there were only 11 people in attendance, 4 of those being reporters. One attendee, who did not want his name released, said "I had no clue everyone was boycotting. I can't read so the signs didn't do me any good." Representatives from the Hook Line N' Sinkers organization were not available for comment.

Haliburton Hook Line N' Sinkers Announce Coaching Staff

HALIBURTON (Haliburton Daily Press Release) - The Haliburton Hook Line N' Sinkers announced their coaching staff earlier today at a press conference on the shores of Halls Lake. GM Colin Wallace was on hand to make the official announcements and members of the coaching staff were available for questions immediately after. Transcripts of these interviews will be available at a later time.

Here is the official 2007 Haliburton Hook Line N' Sinkers Coaching Staff.

Head Coach - Kieran Wallace
Kieran brings experience, enthusiasm, and a desire to win to the table. He also brings some of his wife's cooking to the table in the locker room, which delights players to no end. Her world famous Irish stew has been known to calm even the most 'roid ridden player in the league. Tells it like it is and can be just as harsh as he can be nice. Never minces words but can chew the fat with any player if that player needs to talk.

Pitching Coach - Erin Kulic
This multitasker can handle three kids and a husband, so she can definitely handle a pitching staff. A great knowledge of any game she decides to play and the uncanny ability to get what she wants. She has been quoted as saying "I'll enjoy sitting in the dugout and relaxing, letting Mike take care of the kids for a while. The slow pace of baseball is exactly what I need to balance me out." Our interview was cut short by her son Luke, who wanted to watch Spiderman.

Bullpen Coach - Jenn Luckas
Doesn't have a great knowledge of baseball, but the bullpen coach doesn't really need one. Just makes sure the pitchers get warmed up. While out in the bullpen she can chat with any cute guy she sees in the stands and, hopefully, she'll meet Mr. Right in Baltimore, or Kansas City. No wait, nobody meets Mr. Right in Kansas City. Perhaps Boston?

Batting Coach - Michelle O'Keefe
Has to deal with Andrew Cooper so she must know how to lay down the law, and I'm sure she employs a bat from time to time as she lets Coop know who's boss. If she doesn't, she should. A fantastic artist, her unique approach to batting (the beauty of a swing instead of the brute force) should help each player acquire new career bests in batting average this year. Either that or they'll end up making daisy chains or doing screen printing in the on deck circle.

Bench Coach - Sindy DeBenedictis
Is there a better person to keep players motivated thru the game? A fantastic outlook on life and a killer smile, this gal knows how to keep everyone's spirits up. Had dealt with troubled kids for years and the majority of baseball players fall into this category, so this should be no problem for Sindy.

First Base Coach - Brent Finley
Not much goes into being a first base coach, and seeing as how Brent would be hungover most of the time, GM Colin Wallace has placed Brent at first base. The games are usually late so the hangover shouldn't be too big a factor, and no one really pays attention to the first base coach, so if he decided to sneak a flask out with him each inning, I'm sure no one would really notice.

Third Base Coach - Marisa Reis
Don't know Marisa that well but from what I do know, she gets excited about almost everything! A third base coach needs to go from zero to 60 in less than a second, and Marisa can do this. Plus, I think she would enjoy waving her arms frantically to signal a runner to go home. The only thing is that the game would have to wait until Marisa stopped laughing.

Scouting Report for Upcoming TBL Baseball Season

Those zany folks over at The Bleacher Life have come up with yet another fun idea and a great way for me to spend at least some of my time off, and that is to draft my friends onto my own personal MLB team. Following is a list of my friends, their "skills, abilities, and disposition" (which I'm guessing means in life and not just playing baseball), and the order in which they are drafted (or not!) I'm sure only 3 or 4 of my friends actually frequent this site so I don't really have to remind them to not take this seriously, but if anyone else comes across this, the message is the same. Don't take this seriously, only 50% of it is true, I just needed something to do on a Tuesday afternoon during my two weeks off.

With that in mind The End of the Dock presents the Scouting Report for the Upcoming TBL Baseball Season

EMILY WALLACE - Wife of GM Colin Wallace and a consummate professional if there ever was one. When this lady has a job to do she does it right. A vicious team player, Emily has the all around ability to play whatever position she wants, the knowledge to make an impact in any game she plays, and the athleticism to be a regular on any Plays of the Day segment. Unfortunately she has referred to GM Colin Wallace as a dumbass on a number of occasions, so look for her to go unpicked.

ADAM SMITH - Longtime fan of the game and loves his beer... this guy is a definite player. An easy going kind of guy who can turn up the intensity when needed, although he doesn't feel the need to often. Isn't rattled by too much and makes the drive to Mississauga to see his friends so you know he has good range. A righty that can't turn around and bat left, but that shouldn't stop him from being taken high in the draft.

SUE McKAY - Varsity level athlete who can read the game with uncanny ability. Has played basketball, volleyball, and run track all at high levels. Has a history of injuries though, including her left forearm (she's a lefty) and an ankle that is still not 100%. She has been doing some off season training and her schooling in Athletic Therapy should help her manage anything that comes her way this season.

JIM WARDLE - A quality athlete who talks a good game, but backs his words up. You could play dueling banjos on his tight hammys but he's a pro, he'll take care of that problem before opening day. Has the ability to get under an opponent's skin like no other, and can frequently piss off a teammate, but at the end of the day you'll know where his loyalties lie.

CHANTELLE FINLEY - Great with her hands, but grew up playing hockey and is used to that fast paced action and not the pace of a baseball game. An impatient hitter who has walked back to the dugout on a 2-0 count claiming she was bored that the pitcher hadn't thrown anything in the strike zone yet. When the batting coach tried to explain the concept of a plate appearance to her she snapped. He is now just starting to chew his meals again. She may have temper issue, but like I said, she's got good hands.

ANDREW COOPER - Has worked with young children and autistic individuals most of his post-secondary career and has been a lifetime Leafs fan so you know he has the patience most players, Chantelle Finley included, wish they had. Hasn't traveled much so the strains of a long season on the road could be a factor in his first year in the league should he be drafted. Arguably has one of the tightest bums of any of the up and comers, which should help boost the female attendees at any home or away game, which is something MLB could use.

AIDEN KENNEDY - The highest touted pitching prospect but so was Babe Ruth, and he went on to hit 714 dingers and had a lifetime average of .342, so we'll see how Kennedy's future is decided on draft day. Has a cannon for a right arm and throws a wicked slider, although doesn't always listen to his coach and throws the slider at will. Batting style a la Rickey Henderson with the speed of a Cecil Fielder (who managed to steal a few in his time). Has been a lifetime Athletics fan which could hurt his chances of a high pick on draft day.

BRIAN DeWAGNER - Has played for the Angels until he was suspended for attending a barn party while wearing his jersey. Has never been one for the rules but gets the job done, most of the time with his pants on, but sometimes bare ass. Loves the comfort of a Greyhound, and revels in the opportunity to feel the cool grass of a stadium between his toes. Has been known to take his shoes off for an inning each game earning him the nickname the Barefoot Bum. Also has been known to stash a tall can of Sierra Nevada in the crack between the pads of the outfield wall, which most managers frown on, but he maintains he plays better with a "sunset buzz." GM's may be wary to draft him after this scouting report comes out, but there has been word that GM Colin Wallace of the Haliburton Hook Line N' Sinkers employed the same tactics in his day, so look for this Barefoot Bum to be sporting the Haliburton colours at the end of the day.

ADAM FINLEY - He has been cross training like mad this off season playing indoor hockey and ultimate frisbee, which has gotten him in good shape. A very focused player who gets the job done and doesn't waver, Adam is a great addition to any team. Spent most of his cross training playing defense, which could help him go high in the draft for any team looking to fill a gap in their defensive setup. The kid has a great eye at the plate and spends his time training for this by taking pictures, which he posts on his site for GMs and scouts to see.

ANNE COWANS - Great at PR and talking to the media, and she's not hard to look at either. Very athletic individual who can adapt to any situation and fit in with anyone that you'd think they have been best friends for life. Had a great career as a softball pitcher but loved the sauce so much she drank herself out of the game. Trying to make a comeback but has been quoted as saying "I love the game. I love everything about the game so much that I had to make a decision. It was either the game or the sauce. I chose the game." (It should be noted that Ms. Cowans was very protective of her water bottle and seemed to slur her words more towards the end of the interview.)

CARLOS ABRANTES - Boyfriend of the sister of GM Colin Wallace, so look for him to be part of the Haliburton family, lest Mr. Wallace wants to not be a part of his family at day's end. Great soccer player with good stamina and the ability to knock the tar out of someone in one shot. It is this quality that has catcher's trembling when Carlos is heading full steam towards home. Proud recipient of the Jose Canseco Highlight of the Year Award in '99, when Carlos, while a fellow teammate was being intentionally walked, broke for home after the catcher, Clayton McVolvo, had caught ball three. They collided at home in a horrific meeting of skulls and Clayton was left motionless for 3 months. One player described the incident as such: "The shattering of Clayton's cranium was so loud that 14 fans in the upper deck threw up. Personally, a bone in my right hand and 3 of my ribs broke because I was so close to the sound of the collision." Look for Carlos to go top 3 as catchers have already been pressuring their GMs to pick him or else they walk.

JOHN O'KELLY - A crazy Irishman who can dance up a mean storm. He'll be a hit on the road with the ladies. Has no problem hitting on ladies on the road too. Has had UFC training so look for him to hit some of his opponents if need be. Flew all the way from Ireland to Canada for a friend's wedding so you know his loyalties will be strong for whatever team he plays for. Can take a lot of pain and has the scars to prove it

KEVIN PHILLIPS - Another soccer player with the ability to play other sports too. This guy's energy levels are never in doubt, and his knack of handling a high workload is proven making him a quality pick. Loves to take his clothes off after a few drinks which could put him in trouble with the law early on in the season, but those who know GM Colin Wallace and his history will be expecting him to pick KP on draft day. Although us scouts have been wrong before.

COURTNEY THORNE - A linguistics professional who can rape you physically AND verbally, Courtney is a force to be reckoned with. She is also a very competitive individual who does not take losing lightly, making it very frustrating for her opponents to win back to back games against her pitchers. The verbal rapage she doles out doesn't hurt either.

STEPHEN HUNT - Great kid who has World Championship and Olympic Gold Medals slung around his sharp, bony shoulders. Stephen has a great arm but has been known to be a clutz on the bases, as his shoes sometimes end up on the wrong feet. A solid pick for any club but as a native from Sweden he will have trouble with the English language.

ARVIN KIM - The only power hitter with a bigger soft spot in his heart than on his 42" bat. Some scouts might say that this could hurt Arvin in key at bats, but those are the scouts that haven't seen Arvin in the gym. He's a ferocious f*&!(@ with arms the size of sequoias and he knows how to use them. Great patience and has been known to squeeze water from a baseball at a Diamondbacks game.

CHRIS WEVERS - The only thing slower than Wevers speaking is the opposing pitcher's ability to figure him out at the plate. A football man trying to make his name as a baseball player such as the great Bo Jackson and the not so great Deion Sanders.

NATALIE WALLACE - Cousin of GM Colin Wallace, and triple jumper extraordinaire. Natalie's knowledge of nutrition should keep her healthy for the entire season, and her streak of 1,637 game played is 3rd all time. She strikes out frequently and busts a gut laughing about it which is why she has not been a very consistent hitter, but her prowess in the field in incomparable.

CHRIS KAISER - Has seen his career go in a slow nose dive in recent years with the excess drinking and smoking, but has vowed to turn it around and give fame and glory one more shot.

JAY LEUNG - This Chinese sensation has been tearing up every league he's been in, and has been doing it wearing khaki's. Each league has tried to force him to wear regulation pants, even threatening to suspend him, but attendance drops when he's not playing so its just not an option.

SARAH QUIGLEY - A smart cookie who can give you the verbal rapage just as good as Thorne, and who loves to party just as much too. Has been fined millions over the years as she is constantly late for games and practices because she takes about 4 hours to get ready for a game.

KIERAN WALLACE - GM Colin Wallace will have a tough time this draft day as he has a few family members participating in the draft. Makes for awkward holidays when you get offered the smallest chicken wing and a Coors Light for your dinner. Kieran has a great knowledge of the game, having spent time with national level athletes and playing hurling (national sport of Ireland) at an elite level. Having spent the last few years on the golf course instead of the diamond Kieran may be the man to manage the Haliburton Hook Line N' Sinkers to their first winning season in 18 years.

I AM the Philadelphia Phillies.

Recently, a good friend had a post on his blog in which he compared his friends to MLB teams. Needless to say, I am now the proud owner of an official 59FIFTY Philadelphia Phillies chapeau, and damn if it doesn't fit so good. SO good.

The only people I know that have a Phillies lid are those that live in the city of brotherly love. Well, add one more to that list. I've been sporting the colours since Saturday and I, honestly, have never been prouder of a cap than this one. Can you blame me? The hat is a tribute not to the current Phillies team, but to the Phillies of past years. Players such as Lenny Dykstra, John Kruk, Darren Dalton, and the ubergreat Mike Schmidt. I put on the cap and I can almost feel the dirt from third base under my cleats and the tickle of tiny whiskers under my nose a la Schmidt.

While I was searching for a Phillies hat (they are harder to come by than you would think) I heard one of the best quotes that I have probably ever heard in my 28 plus years. Honestly, the 6 words I heard resonated so hard that it made me miss the person described in the statement so much that it almost hurt. Those six words were "Cooper IS the '93 Blue Jays." The words came just after I had explained to my friend why I had decided to bust my ass and try to find a Phillies hat (a notion he probably thought was ludicrous but, as good friends do, supported me throughout my endeavor).

EVERYBODY needs a Cooper. Just being around him makes people feel good. Kinda like being a fan of the '93 Jays when a ticket to a game wasn't just an excuse to eat an overpriced hot dog, it was a chance to be a part of something amazing. Kinda like seeing a Paul Molitor at bat, or an amazing play by Robbie Alomar, it can't be compared to anything. Neither can Coop.

I thank my lucky stars for Coop. I thank my lucky stars for all my friends.

Its a good life.

Sue McKay is a thief...

But not really...


While writing an exam the other day I felt a sneeze coming on. I deformed my face as one does during the initial stages of a sneeze, and braced myself. Like I said, I was writing an exam, so I attempted to keep my sneeze as quiet as possible so as not to completely disturb my classmates. I reared my head back slightly, and it snapped forward as the contents of my lungs (should have) expunged itself. Something strange happened though and, as far as I can remember and I think one would have a good memory of this, my sneeze actually turned into a small cough at the last second. I sat there with, I'm sure, a puzzled look on my face. Had anyone been looking at me, I'm sure it would've been a strange thing to see. Screwed up face, rearing back of cranium, violent snap forward, small cough. I had lost my sneeze. I looked on the ground (actually did that) and it wasn't there. It wasn't on my desk. Dammit! Where was my damn sneeze. The next 27 hours passed and the damn thing didn't turn up. It felt kinda like I had just lost my debit card in the house, and I KNEW it was in the house, but no matter how hard I looked I couldn't come across it.

A couple friends came over the next day and as we were sitting around chatting my friend, Sue, suddenly, out of complete no where, sneezed! She immediately seemed surprised as there was no warning of a sneeze for her. She was laughing and then BOOM!! SNEEZE!!! I immediately looked up at her, as I recognized the complete and utter shock on her face, knowing full well that sneeze was not expected! "YOU FOUND MY SNEEZE! THERE IT IS!!" Odd thing to hear after you sneeze as Bless You is probably the more appropriate response, but once I explained it I felt much better. I had found my sneeze. It was in Sue! That was the last place I would've thought to look. Well... maybe not the last place. Perhaps in someone I've never met before, someone like the Pope, yeah, that would've been the last place. Anyways, I feel good now. Honestly, as soon as I recognized that look on her face it might as well have been me that sneezed. I even wiped my nose.

MORAL: Lose your sneeze? Check your friends. They can be thieves too.

Insert Title Here...

I have been having a hard time lately. As I try to begin writing I find that the words I am looking for are not coming as easily as I would want them to, which makes me more frustrated, which in turn delays the words further. Ever driven on the 401 or Gardiner during rush hour? Thats how my head is functioning right now, if you can even call that functioning. I'm stuck in that lane that never seems to be moving as fast as the others, and when it does start moving some jackass in a Jag cuts in front of me and my brakes are slammed on. Giving him the finger just gives me a small moment of relief, but then its right back to where I started.

I can't pinpoint when it started, but it was around the start of January-ish, around the time 2nd semester started. Also, I can't pinpoint where this all-around mental block came from. I'm sure it was due to a number of factors such as a heavy school load, too many years of post-secondary education building up, long days, a flood in the apartment causing us to move a couple weeks later, the move itself, financial stuff, a serious lack of exercise and even the time to do it (I couldn't do it most days even if I wanted to, which I do), and other everyday life stuff. But thats just it. Its just regular life stuff. We all get busy, tired, flustered with financial burdens and we all face difficult periods whether they are spontaneous (I'll use the example of a flood) or not. So why is all this stuff affecting me so much? Why has it been dragging me down so much? Its hard to describe the mental impact this has had on me because everyone is just so different. Physically it would resemble climbing, getting ready to shoot up at a crux, and trying to hold on to that overhang for just one more second so you can finally find a good spot for your right foot, or your left hand, just so you can top out and name the damn bastard, but gravity just won't let you. The route never becomes a "future problem thats no longer in the future" (only hippies can say stuff like that and get away with it... Josh Lowell fans would know what I'm talking about).

You know what, I sound like an ass. This paragraph should precede what I just wrote but I just thought of this stuff now, so this is where it goes. There are definite things in my life which give me tons of inspiration and motivation, even clarity. My BEAUTIFUL AMAZING wife Emily. The love I have for that woman is beyond anything my literary prowess could describe... I'm seriously not that good, not at all. Just know that she keeps me going. I love her so much it scares me sometimes. Then there is Ollie. As I write that fat cat's name I smile and get one of many uberfantastic mental images of that guy. He makes me want to come home and he makes this house a home. Oh, and my family is amazing. My parents are the two most amazing people I've ever had the pleasure to be in the company of and, no bragging here, just the truth, I've traveled enough to be in the company of many people, good and bad. They win. Hands down. So I do have a lot of amazing things in my life.

But I feel like I'm missing something. There is an internal gap that feels like its starting to push everything further and further apart, to the point where I can't seem to find the thought I'm looking for, or it takes me too long for my liking.

I realized what it was tonight. I have no clue where it came from but I'm hoping its a turn around point. I don't really have a passion for anything right now. I mean, Athletic Therapy is definitely a passion of mine, but when it is accompanied by assignments and ridiculous courses like any one of the 6 psychology courses I have taken in my 3 years at Sheridan it becomes a chore. Those courses are such a waste of time that I don't want to try anymore, honestly, I really couldn't give a rats ass, or the ass of any other rodent for that matter, about those courses. I can do well in them if I want. I can do it but why? Honestly. Why? Tangent, sorry. Where was I? Passion! Thats it. I need it back. I'm craving it. It used to be running, and I think I need to get back to that now. Just plain exercise and working out and nearly killing myself in workouts. I love it! I thrive on that, its probably the best feeling you could have, or at the very least, the best feeling I could have. This summer is going to be a summer of climbing. My schedule will definitely fit it. I'll make my schedule fit it. One of the great things about having a car is that it can take you places when you want it to. Eddie will be my savior this summer.

I feel I have more to write, but I'll end this post here. Its a 'to be continued' kind of post I guess. Here's to hoping the summer comes quickly. What does the Weather Network say about this weekend?

Who Were The Four Asschunkers?

Recently... Mia Hamm was voted into the the U.S. National Soccer Hall of Fame along with fellow player Julie Foudy and builder Alan Rothenberg. As a prelude to my inevitable ramblings and rages which will make me seem like the biggest soccer fan this beautiful country could be blessed with, I'll admit that I was unaware of the existence of the Soccer Hall of Fame. I mean, I assumed there was one, and by assumed I meant that I never gave it a blade of thought, I just wasn't really surprised to hear that there was one. So hopefully you don't dwell heavily on that, I admitted it, lets all just be grown ups and move past that and onto the matter at hand.

Mia Hamm is no stranger to records, her 158 career international goals is the highest total by any female to ever play the game, and so it came as no shock to this sports "enthusiast" (why did I put the quotations over enthusiast? Not sure but I'll just leave 'em there) that she was inducted into the Hall on February 27th, 2007 with a record number of votes, 137 out of 141 possible votes, an unprecedented 97.16% (beating the previous record of 95.77%). My question is simply this. Who in hell were the four asschunkers that didn't vote for her?!? Are you serious? You sit on the board which elects Hall of Fame members for the sport of soccer in the United States, and you do not have enough sport knowledge, patriotism, or awareness of life itself to vote this woman in unanimously? I realize patriotism might be a stretch, but Ms. Hamm is, arguably (and its a damn good argument with few water leaks, and those leaks may only be there because the argument is too damn heavy for whatever the hell holds arguments. The argument bucket?)... where was I? Oh yeah. She is, arguably (see previous sentence), the best female soccer player to have ever played the game. I would even say she is one of the best, sex organs aside, to have ever played the game in the history of the sport. 158 goalies and 158 twine nets stressed by the immaculate strength of her shot can't be wrong. Immaculate? Thats right. I went there.

137 out of 141. Lets take a look at a few more of her credentials. We have discussed the 158 career international goals; there is the 1991 and 1999 World Cup victories; 1996 and 2004 Olympic Gold Medals; at 15, she was the youngest person (notice this doesn't specify just female) to ever be a member of the U.S. National Team (where she ended up playing 17 years); at age 19 she was the youngest player to win a World Cup; 4-time NCAA Champion (only 4 years of eligibility right? Right.); led the nation in scoring in '90, '92, and '93; graduated with an all-time record for most conference goals (103), assists (72), and points (278). There's more, but lets just stop there. The argument reservoir (the bucket just wasn't big enough) is already reaching critical levels.

137 out of 141. Mia Hamm accomplishes all that while starting her very own foundation (Mia Hamm Foundation) which raises funds for bone marrow research.

137 out of 141. I'm going to go ahead and tell myself to believe that the 4 muffgobblers in question were told not to vote for Mia, and apply some sort of reasoning to it (although its absurd that she didn't get 100%, as previously stated, so I can't guarantee the reasons will be any less absurd). It is possible that they were told to do so, for the simple fact that the perpetual bar could, in the future, always be raised, or so the universe wouldn't implode on itself or something... something to put my mind at ease dammit.

137 out of 141. That statistic is going to stick in my head for a while now. Thanks a lot you short-n'-curly-hair-gaggers. You are fully and solely responsible for any and all insane rants and rages I go on over the course of the next 24-48 hours and whatever deaths they may cause. Think about THAT. Sleep well, and with one eye open. Or I'll Mel Gibson your ass (think Braveheart... the scene with the mace and the horse.) There are 4 of you that need to sleep lightly. There were also 4 "lords" in Braveheart that had their asses handed to them if my memory serves me correctly. I'm not saying coincidence but...

Ok Universe,.. You Win This Round.

An Explanation is Needed on This One...

I've come to the realization that the only reason they make statues to pay tribute to a great person is that the honoree probably had to put up with a lot of shit in their time, and whoever erected the statue needed something there to keep the birds busy, while tourists and locals could worry about something other than having to pack an extra hat for the day. They got shat on in life but still persevered, so its a safe bet they're going to persevere now. The fact that they're dead and unable to complain about the smell is irrelevant, isn't it?

More and more recently I have noticed that nice guys, and girls, finish last more often than they finish first. And even if its not a last place finish, they have definitely hit the wall and are trotting embarrassingly towards the finish line, with maintaining a shred of dignity their only motivation. More often than not they'll still have a smile on their face, or at the very least they won't be frowning.

"Well Colin, thats just life" some might say, to which I reply "ERRONEOUS!" And it really is.

These are the people that keep the world running smoothly, the type of person who will see the silver lining on the dark cloud, the type of person who tries to see the good and the bad in, under, around, and on everything, the bird shit as well as the statue. I cannot comprehend that these people sometimes end up being that statue.

Recently, the store that I work in, owned by a member of the "nice guy team", if not the damn captain, was closed for a good 5 weeks due to a fire that was started in another store two floors above. This guy-of-all-guys busted his ass for those 5 weeks to get the store back open. While I'm sure part of the reason he worked tirelessly to get the store back up and running was to generate the income he was so sorely lacking, thanks to the birds upstairs, I also believe that he wanted to get the store back on its feet so as to provide his customers with the shoes they need and his employees (students) the money they practically salivate for.

Greg is the type of person that you never, ever, want to disappoint, ever. Not just for the completely unselfish reason that you wouldn't want to disappoint HIM, but also for the narcissistic, egocentric reason that you wouldn't want to let YOURSELF down. I'm guessing it would feel like growing up in Boston in the 70's, but end up playing for the Lakers in the 80's. You let down people around you, die hard Celtics fans, but dammit all if you didn't let down yourself by donning the purple and gold. If there were a million more "Gregs" in the world, well there would be a million less assholes.

As I walked down the street and around the corner while on my way to work today I stopped, speechless, outside the store's front window. All the stock was gone, and a sign on the window read, simply, "Unfortunately we have had another fire." Apparently the idiot who owned the building didn't have his electrical sources fixed correctly since the last fire, and on Friday night one of the fuse boxes actually exploded, shooting a ball of flame up a stairwell and knocking out power to the entire block. This leaves Greg with another couple weeks of paperwork and working out an empty shell of a store trying to get special orders and unique requests filled for customers, all the while battling the strong, piercing stench of smoke which the fire ungraciously left in the store.

Yet another example of how life can teach you, no matter who YOU are, to never, ever, ever take anything for granted.

He'll pull through, I'm 97% sure that he will. As for the remaining 3%, well lets just say that I'm glad I'm a friend, and the chances of me staring down the business end of an AR-15, autoloading, centrefire rifle with his twitchy finger on the trigger are slim. But still, if I catch wind that he's on any kind of a warpath, I'll be the first to sign up for a 3 week fishing trip with George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg, perfect storm be damned.

The sea can be cruel, but I'd rather take my chances with her. As complex as women can be, there's something so simple about a man with a gun and a reason that is chilling, viciously chilling.

Seaman Colin reporting for duty. Where do I sign?

Kate Hudson Knows What I'm Talking About...

I'll be honest, I didn't expect to read what I did.

I had mixed feelings as I read each paragraph, and there were quite a few to read. The past two weeks have been a quick sprint down memory lane thanks to Facebook, a couple beers with Jenny M., and Tellie's recollection of Piccadilly Porch. I remember standing on that porch the day I moved out and thinking that I wasn't just stepping off the porch for the final time, I was taking my first steps in the direction of uncertainty. In that house, for that one whole year, everything had made sense. The good (jam sessions), the bad (jam sessions after too many drinks), and the ugly (Jim joining in on our jam sessions). It had been comfortable there, and before I could take those last two steps down off the porch and onto a sidewalk that would lead me to another stage of my existence, I had to realize that I was, for the time being, stepping outside of my comfort zone, which, I might add, had the thermostat set at 71 and a healthy portion of a case of beer still cold in the fridge. The Bleacher Life post was no different. An individual very comfortable in being himself stepped outside of that warm, safe, and well-stocked environment to convey that message, and that floored me.

I have to be completely honest and say that during the ceremony I didn't notice anyone being absent because, quite simply, I didn't notice anyone else except Emily and our reverend, John Lescard. I think that was his name. I had never met him before the rehearsal day, a concept that has just recently started to bother me. Here is a guy that books 4 weddings to perform in one day. He drives in, stands around and makes small talk with the groom so as to calm his nerves, or it could be out of complete boredom that he initiates conversation. He then waits for the bride to walk down the aisle, starts talking, and 17 minutes later he's out the door and off to the next wedding, driving with the top of his convertible down, at peace with the fact that he, if you extrapolate his earnings in 17 minutes, makes a shade over $700 an hour. Anyways, I'm on a tangent and will continue that thought in my next post. The point is, Em and John were the only two people I noticed during the time I was walking up the aisle with my mom, to the time when Em and I turned to face everyone, Reverend Guy-Off-The-Street announcing we were now officially married. I had two uncles, an aunt, and a cousin who got lost, missed the entire ceremony, ended up in Oakville and had a small chunk of the guests on my side a shade over "mildly concerned". If I was so oblivious to anything else other than the wedding ceremony that I didn't notice family missing, I definitely wasn't going to notice anyone else missing. So I hope he doesn't take that as an insult.

It was only when Emily turned to me, after we were back inside and ready to sit down to dinner and speeches, and brought to my attention "Brian didn't make it to the ceremony." We invited 140 people to our wedding and to the reception, and every person that confirmed that they were coming showed up, which is, so I've been told, almost unheard of. So the news that one person didn't show for the ceremony didn't affect me for long, I couldn't allow it to. Moments after Em had said this I was laughing at some joke, or listening intently to Kelly (our planner), with Emily's news long gone from my thoughts. Again, no insult meant, thats just how it has to be on that day. I thoroughly enjoyed my wedding day, but I definitely could've used a couple more hours in there in order to really, fully, and truly appreciate the day and how amazing Emily looked in her dress. It was over in a blur. I told myself before the day arrived that whatever happens, I was to relax and let things happen, to not get worked up about anything.

That split second, however, after Emily brought that to my attention, I felt my insides twinge. Its tough for me to describe... placing words in aesthetically pleasing arrangements is not my forte. I'm guessing its how each and every 6 foot plus Orangeman with size 15 feet felt today after learning an NCAA tournament would be played without the influence of a Syracuse presence. Perhaps it is akin to the feeling Phil Mickelson got each time he blew up on the back nine of many Majors (until he finally stopped the bleeding and cauterized his career with a Major victory). I will even go so far as to say that Kate Hudson would understand the feeling after someone else walked home with a shiny bald guy and a ripped envelope, with Kate's performance in "Almost Famous" judged NOT to be the best performance by a leading actress that year. If you ask me, and I'll display my common arrogant prickedness and assume you should ask me, it was the single most greatest performance of any actor I've seen. Throw Drew Barrymore or Scarlett Johannsen in there and the entire movie changes, and not for the better. I'll bet you most people don't even know who won that year, but they definitely know that Kate Hudson lost. Another tangent, I know. Anyhow, Kate Hudson, Phil Mickelson, and the entire Syracuse Orangemen 2006-2007 basketball team could possibly describe it better, so ask them.

After you've asked them and they've explained it, you probably wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone, and neither do I. What happened, well, it simply just happened. There is no going back to change it. A hard step was taken with that post, and I'll put my arrogant prickedness suit back on, 'cause it just fits so well, and assume that if I were to shrug off the apology and the years of friendship I would invoke the same feeling in the same person who was big enough to put those thoughts into words. I can't do that. I don't want to do that.

Apology accepted. Now, I don't want to hear another word about it. We paid good money for a photographer, well actually we didn't but someone else did, but the point is, good money was paid for a photographer and the reason he was there was to capture the day in as many pictures as he could take. So trust me when I say this, after going over the pictures and talking to Uncle Jack, it'll be like he was there. Hell, we'll even open up a laptop and photoshop him into a couple pictures to make it "official". Perhaps we'll replace the reverend's face with his, trading someone who I could've cared less whether he was there or not, with someone who I truly wanted to have there.

I'm finished school in a month. Something needs to be set up for late April.

Shamone!

A good friend of mine regularly sends me texts which mean absolutely nothing but, more often than not, leave me either with a smile on my face or an embarrassed look because I've just laughed out loud in a crowded store. I try to return the favour when I can and hope he experiences the same pick-me-up to his day as I do, although as a true friend I hope there are more embarrassing moments.

This morning I received a text and opened it... my usual interest in its contents aroused. There it was... the first word in the text.... Shamone. To get a full appreciation for this word I believe telling the story of its inception is appropriate, if not a necessity.

I recommend taking a cross country trip on a Greyhound once. Thats it... just once. As in, one way. Fly home. I guarantee you will see things you always wanted to and some things you wish you never had. A certain butch looking transvestite and his very diminutive, very senior cowboy escort come to mind. That, however, is a campfire story.

There were two of us and we wanted to travel to California and do some serious bouldering, and Bishop, being the bouldering mecca of the US, was the destination. Our usual day consisted of waking up at 6am, it was just too hot to sleep any later than that, and pack our gear for a good solid morning of climbing. We were usually on Highway 395 by 6:30am with a pack filled with 5 or 6 bottles of water; a crashpad (that doubled as a sail on windy days); and a first aid kit. It was approximately a 3 mile hike up into the desert to our climbing spot. After about 4 or 5 hours of ripping the skin off our fingers, sitting naked on rocks, and dodging rattlesnakes, it was then time to head back to the camp and get showered up before grabbing a well deserved bite to eat. From the campground to the edge of town was about a mile hike down Highway 6. One particular day I was really really really hungry. Like the wolf. I really wanted to get moving but Bri seemed content to relax. I don't blame him... we'd been climbing for a few straight days now and killing ourselves doing it. Then it happened. I don't know where it came from or what made me combine the words "come" and "on" in the way that I did, but SHAMONE was the command that Bri got. I'm not sure why his reaction was as such, but I distinctly remember him losing it. Laughing that is. It was the word of the trip and, if my memory serves me correctly, that camp season too!

I love that word. Its one of the things I'm proud of. Seriously. Is that weird? I don't think so... it is what it is.

Here's to a great word.... SHAMONE!