Haliburton Hook Line N' Sinkers Announce Coaching Staff

HALIBURTON (Haliburton Daily Press Release) - The Haliburton Hook Line N' Sinkers announced their coaching staff earlier today at a press conference on the shores of Halls Lake. GM Colin Wallace was on hand to make the official announcements and members of the coaching staff were available for questions immediately after. Transcripts of these interviews will be available at a later time.

Here is the official 2007 Haliburton Hook Line N' Sinkers Coaching Staff.

Head Coach - Kieran Wallace
Kieran brings experience, enthusiasm, and a desire to win to the table. He also brings some of his wife's cooking to the table in the locker room, which delights players to no end. Her world famous Irish stew has been known to calm even the most 'roid ridden player in the league. Tells it like it is and can be just as harsh as he can be nice. Never minces words but can chew the fat with any player if that player needs to talk.

Pitching Coach - Erin Kulic
This multitasker can handle three kids and a husband, so she can definitely handle a pitching staff. A great knowledge of any game she decides to play and the uncanny ability to get what she wants. She has been quoted as saying "I'll enjoy sitting in the dugout and relaxing, letting Mike take care of the kids for a while. The slow pace of baseball is exactly what I need to balance me out." Our interview was cut short by her son Luke, who wanted to watch Spiderman.

Bullpen Coach - Jenn Luckas
Doesn't have a great knowledge of baseball, but the bullpen coach doesn't really need one. Just makes sure the pitchers get warmed up. While out in the bullpen she can chat with any cute guy she sees in the stands and, hopefully, she'll meet Mr. Right in Baltimore, or Kansas City. No wait, nobody meets Mr. Right in Kansas City. Perhaps Boston?

Batting Coach - Michelle O'Keefe
Has to deal with Andrew Cooper so she must know how to lay down the law, and I'm sure she employs a bat from time to time as she lets Coop know who's boss. If she doesn't, she should. A fantastic artist, her unique approach to batting (the beauty of a swing instead of the brute force) should help each player acquire new career bests in batting average this year. Either that or they'll end up making daisy chains or doing screen printing in the on deck circle.

Bench Coach - Sindy DeBenedictis
Is there a better person to keep players motivated thru the game? A fantastic outlook on life and a killer smile, this gal knows how to keep everyone's spirits up. Had dealt with troubled kids for years and the majority of baseball players fall into this category, so this should be no problem for Sindy.

First Base Coach - Brent Finley
Not much goes into being a first base coach, and seeing as how Brent would be hungover most of the time, GM Colin Wallace has placed Brent at first base. The games are usually late so the hangover shouldn't be too big a factor, and no one really pays attention to the first base coach, so if he decided to sneak a flask out with him each inning, I'm sure no one would really notice.

Third Base Coach - Marisa Reis
Don't know Marisa that well but from what I do know, she gets excited about almost everything! A third base coach needs to go from zero to 60 in less than a second, and Marisa can do this. Plus, I think she would enjoy waving her arms frantically to signal a runner to go home. The only thing is that the game would have to wait until Marisa stopped laughing.